Modern Day Wife Life

When I got married I was twenty-one years young and my husband was twenty-seven. I was still confused about what to pursue in career wise because I love many things & I'm good at too many things. But that's a whole different story. 

My husband has always been very supportive of my decisions. If he wasn't, I would never have married him. What I love about my husband is that he accepts me and respects me for who I am. Although sometimes he does get a bit sexist but it was less being sexist and more of a worried about me. A great example is like the time I had wanted to dance samba but I was at the beginning of my second trimester of pregnancy. Everything that I am passionate about, my husband thinks is amazing. He always encourages me to do the things I am afraid of doing. 
And out of all of the people that I have ever been friends with my entire life, my husband is the only person who truly knows me, even more so than most of my family.


So what is the Modern Day Wife?
Well first let me begin by saying that the entire time my husband & I were engaged we were both very nervous.

Fortunately, we went on a little cruise around New York City a month before we got married. That's where we met a lovely couple from Arizona who had been married for about 50 years. The wife & I quickly became friends and she went on to tell me how she and her husband had met.
They met at their university, both graduated together and later his wife continued to grad school while he followed in his family's foot steps to join the Air Force. They kept in touch and when they finally reunited they became best friends and got married. 
I was wreck I listened to her with teary eyes, I felt like I was signing my life away. I felt like I wasn't going to my mommy's little girl anymore. So I had asked her two very important questions that I will never forget:

"Why did you get married?"

"I was straightforward with him. He knew how hard I worked on my education and how passionate I was about my career. He respected me."

"What is your secret to a happy marriage?"

"The only difference between being married and being madly head over heels in love with each other is a piece of paper." 

In that moment I looked at my husband as he was over at the bar bringing us some wine. I strongly believe that I had met this woman because of fate. Sometimes in life we are so confused and then someone comes in or something happens - it's a slap in the face like "HEY! THERE! IT'S OBVIOUS TIME! YOU & THIS PERSON HAVE THIS IN COMMON." or sometimes there are things that happen to us that remind us who we are or what our heart truly wants.

Of course going to school I had a lot of negative reactions from female students. They had thought that maybe I'm just some house wife who is locked away in the house all 

day and doesn't do anything. That's a lie.

As my dear friend had told me that lovely evening & from what I've learned basically, 

(1) Your Marriage depends on you & your significant other.

(2) You are in control of your own life. 

I'm not saying don't call your spouse, go out clubbing, get wasted and come home with someone else. Unless of course you're both into that.... I'm saying: COMMUNICATE! Be straight forward as my friend was with her husband about her career & as I was with my husband about samba classes. Eduardo was worried about me so to respect both myself & him I had decided to only do the "Pay-Per-Class" plan instead of the full commitment of "Pay-Per-Year" (this is called compromising it's just as healthy as communication)

 

(3)  You chose your significant other.  If you ever feel that you are not being treated right or feel that the marriage has become abusive then you ALSO have a choice to leave him/her.

We all make mistakes. If your spouse is not abusive but they happened to disrespect you or cheat on you then consider marriage counseling or therapy. What my husband & I did more than three times was "break up" & once we almost had a divorce. I'm a very strong minded woman & I love myself very much. After the break-ups my husband & I had learned a lot not only about ourselves but about each other. Our marriage became much stronger, I guess sometimes you need some time away from each other to figure things out on your own. We've definitely improved our communication after our break-up. I could safely say that we have never been better. It was a wake up call to our marriage.




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x o x o
Amela Sandra